Posts tagged ‘attachment parenting’

I don’t know how she does it

Poorly, quickly, messily, and with a lot of drama, usually!

I’m not doing much these days. I’m homeschooling, I’m occasionally getting a glimpse at Oprah, I’m seeing My Chemical Romance once in a while. Animal is sick, Mineral is his usual crazy self. The Informant is very helpful around the house, My Masterpiece is one stubborn kid. And, REPEAT. It’s not very exciting, and then it’s 10pm, and then it’s nursing 24352352x/night and then it’s 7am and it all starts again.

I cook, I send My Chemical Romance + a kid or four, to Target for groceries, I wear TD in a sling/carrier/wrap, I eat.  I put away laundry. The kids do their laundry, put it away, pour milk on cereal, make peanut butter and jelly, ride their bikes, color, fill out workbook pages, and vacuum.

I’m working on life with Mineral. He is a challenging child. I’m reading “The Explosive Child,” for some suggestions on making life with him easier. He is very easily irritated by his siblings; being the oldest of five doesn’t help. Food is another difficulty. He is very rigid about what he wants and doesn’t want — and often what he wants/doesn’t want conflicts with what the family needs/doesn’t need. He is inflexible and anxious — and I empathize greatly — and parenting him is hard.

I’m also reading “Punished By Rewards,” by Alfie Kohn (I just almost wrote Kofie Annan, LMFAO! I’m tired!) While I find the subject fascinating, I find the actual writing itself very very dry. And for someone who is sleep-deprived, dry writing doesn’t help.

Bedtime. Nursing time.

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February 1, 2011 at 9:45 pm 2 comments

Larger than my baby’s head

With all the weight I’ve gained over the years, then lost after my weight loss surgery, and then gained 40lbs during pregnancy — throughout all of that, my breasts have stayed constant. One of my friends referred to them as my “giant nursing appendages.” In a nod to politics, I freely post breastfeeding pictures on Face*book, and yes they are obscene by Face*book standards because I’m using my breasts to feed my child and I’m not in a bikini making duck face.

Anyway, here I am, alive, with a family that now includes My Chemical Romance, Animal, Mineral, The Informant, My Masterpiece, The Dog Without a Downside, and Tax Deduction. Who might get a new name. One friend suggested Magnum Opus, because I just love my little TD so much, and I have so many hormones coursing through my body, I think TD is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen, and I am preternaturally cheerful.  I don’t mind nursing 23/7. I rarely put TD down, making use of my 252352353 slings and carriers and pouches and wraps. (My favorites are Two Mommas Design half-buckle tai; Sleeping Baby Productions ring sling that my mom made; New Native pouch.)

Keeping up with so many children is a little rough. Some days are easier than others. I learned the first week alone that I can only do errands on certain days (T/Th) and that giving my kids outside chores (like walking the dog) is helpful. Animal and Mineral have a lot of energy. Mineral and The Informant are very impulsive. And My Masterpiece is a genuine three-year-old.

Moo!

 

January 27, 2011 at 7:41 pm 3 comments

Quick Christmas homebirth story

My Absolutely Amazing Homebirth of the Christmas Baby

The short version: I started having contractions around midnight on Cmas morning. I stayed in bed til I couldn’t rest anymore, then I got up and walked around.  Whenever I’d feel a contraction, I’d sway my hips like I was dancing.  I didn’t feel like I needed anyone so I didn’t wake up my husband or my mom (who was visiting) or call my midwife. I just walked around the house and swayed.

I was tired, but every time I tried to lie down the contractions would get really intense until I got back up and moved. Around 5am things got even more intense and I decided that at 6am I’d start making calls/waking people up.  I woke up my husband for a few last-minute housekeeping errands; by then the kids were up and eager to open presents.  My kids, my husband, and my mom opened Christmas presents – while I called my midwife and asked her to come over. After we hung up, things got extremely intense (I know I keep using that word, but I don’t have any other word to describe it!) and I called her back and asked her to talk me on her cell phone til she arrived at my house.

When she got here she examined me and said I was complete except for a small lip, and the baby was at +3. My bag of waters was still intact and I begged her to break them – which is ironic because I’m fairly anti-ROM! She suggested I get on hands-knees to make the lip go away. While on hands-knees, the contractions were really powerful and I could feel them all throughout my pelvis. It was the first time I’ve had pain in my back during a labor.

My water broke during a contraction – at which point the contractions actually got less intense! I sat on the toilet until I felt the urge to push. I found pushing to be very painful and at that point I didn’t think I could do it. I just didn’t think I could get the baby out. However, after what felt like forever on the toilet to me (my midwife said it was only a few minutes; in reality she was only at my house for an hour before the baby was born) my Christmas baby girl was born at 8AM. The placenta came out a few minutes later, and I hardly had any bleeding. She is 7lbs 11oz. She’s perfect and loves to nurse. After the birth I got into bed with her and we cuddled and nursed. It was a beautiful perfect birth – exactly what I wanted. I could not have imagined a better birth.

December 25, 2010 at 1:10 pm 4 comments

The very brief birth story of Animal and Mineral

Note: They are 7.5yo now, so many many of the details are hazy, but here’s what I recall. I wrote this for someone on mothering.com who asked about hospital vaginal birth of twins. Parentheses go into a little more detail for those who aren’t birthy people. I really wish I’d written their birth story just after I had them!

Monozygotic (“identical;” from one egg that split) twins with TTTS (they shared a placenta, with two sacs, and had a discordance in the shared blood vessels which is fairly rare).

I was induced at 34w due to IUGR  (intra-uterine growth restriction; not uncommon in TTTS donor twins) for several weeks (as seen in ultrasound) in baby A (Mineral). I had a lot of ultrasounds and non-stress tests and bio-physical profiles during the pregnancy due to TTTS. I was on bedrest from the day I found out I was having twins — with TTTS — at 18w til the day I gave birth.

I was induced with cervidil; I never had any cytotec or pitocin, thank goodness. I was supposed to get pitocin after 12h on cervidil, but I didn’t need it. They were born about 8h after it was inserted. I’m so grateful that the labor was fairly short.

I labored in my own clothes in a room on the “high-risk” floor — basically it just meant I was hooked up with continuous external fetal monitoring and there was no birth tub or anything cool like that. I had a fantastic doula who helped hold the monitors in place so that I could stand upright — I stood up for most of the labor. I am very grateful to her. I’m not sure I could have had a vaginal birth in the hospital without her.  (You can see her hand holding one of the monitors in my pic.)

I got off the monitors as frequently as possible to pee. I remember that being hooked up to two fetal monitors and one contraction monitor was REALLY annoying. It was hard to keep them in place. Luckily the nurses left me alone for the most part.

I had an epidural (by choice; I wasn’t into natural birth back then!) and felt the urge to push when Mineral”s water broke (spontaneously, fairly soon after the epidural). At that point I was rushed into an OR and could only have one person with me. I chose my mom (I was a single mom of twins, so it was just between my mom and my doula).

There were at least 10 people in the room. Obstetrician, maternal-fetal medicine doctor, nurses, neonatal doc, two NICU nurses — and for all I know there was a freakin’ orderly cleaning up in there, or a student, or a person reading time off the clock. I didn’t really care, except that they were all giving me different orders of what to do/not do. That was kind of scary, plus the urge to push was INTENSE. I felt overwhelmed.

(My mom always interjects the story of how I practically stood up on the bed and yelled, “Everyone calm down!” and one of the nurses gave me a look and said, “No; YOU calm down!” SNORT. I was 23 years old, I was single, I was not supposed to be in labor yet, and everyone was YELLING AT ME. Bitch.)

Mineral shot out without crowning. He was the donor twin, only 3lbs 11oz. Animal”s water broke about five minutes later and his foot slid out. He was a foot-first breech. At that point, everyone really started to yell at me to push. I did, and out he came. He was 5lbs 10oz.

Mineral

Animal

I’d been told that because there was a size discrepancy (which is a TTTS thing), and because Animal was bigger, it might be hours between them, but it was only about 10 minutes, if that. As soon as they were out, I thought, “I can totally do this again!” and I did, twice more, at a birth center and at home. And planning another homebirth with this one.

They were in the NICU for a week, a pediatric room for a few days after that, and then we all went home. They were kind of small compared to other kids for the first year or so, but they caught up fast.

August 15, 2010 at 12:20 am 2 comments

The Wrist-Hair of Doom

I feel like I’m becoming Mrs. Duggar, or a moms on “Kids By the Dozen” — of which RenRedux’s cousin is one! — with all these weird pregnancy-related symptoms. At least I can comfort myself with the fact that this is only kid #5, so it’s not like this is normal for me. Here goes the freakshow list:

1. The Long Wrist-Hair of Doom (no picture)

I can’t take a picture because it’s just this one tiny hair but it grows like three times as long as my other arm hair — but only when I’m pregnant. It’s so weird. One hair. Only when I’m pregnant. If it were dark, I’d pluck it, but it’s actually very light. And long. It blows in the breeze.

2. The Cavernous  Diastasis Recti of the Mountains

My friend Heather first noticed it several months ago. I was laying down on my couch so that she could palpate my uterus — she has two sets of identical twins, and I wanted to know if she thought my uterus felt huge and freakish like hers had — and as I started to sit up she said, “Nice diastasis.” I was like, “What the what?” And then I looked it up. Somewhere between the twin pregnancy, the two singletons that followed, the weight gain, the incredibly invasive weight-loss surgery, the subsequent weight loss, and this pregnancy and weight gain (20lbs so far, and enjoying every meal), my abdominal muscles separated. And the space between is cavernous. And it moves.

Tonight I went out with Wii and we got pedicures and as I settled in my chair, it moved and the pedicurist (?) got all excited that the baby was kicking me. I said, “Nope, that’s just me,” and I flexed my stomach muscles (SNORT!) for her to make it move more. She was very impressed. (Incidentally, the baby is the size of a speck, and the kicks I feel are very low.)

It is begging for a name. “The Cavernous Diastasis Recti of the Mountains” is too long. Please advise.

3. My feet are growing.

This is a normal pregnancy one, but I find it particularly offensive. Shoes are expensive. Especially considering that last year I made a commitment not to buy cheap shoes — only high-quality footwear for me. Like my Keens, which actually probably still fit because I bought them a little big. But my Vibram Five Fingers are too small. UGH. UGH UGH UGH! They’re so comfy — unless they’re too small and squishing your right big toe. Even my ugly Cr*ocs are tight.

4. Beware the tiny cut

I tend to get infections when I’m pregnant. I hypothesize that my body does such a fantastic job gestating a baby, it forgets all about ME. After all, let’s not forget what this baby has been through so far: an abdominal and pelvic C/T scan with contrast dye; cold medicine — the kind that you’re specifically not supposed to take when you’re pregnant, it says on the box — for a few days; assurgery under general anesthesia followed by a month on hydro*codone (I miss you, hyco!); and the usual lunchmeat/unpasteurized milk that I consume daily. My body freakin’ LOVES being pregnant. When I was pregnant with Animal and Mineral, the high-risk Obstetrician I saw due to their Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome said that I do an awesome job at being pregnant*

*If only I did such a great job at parenting. My Masterpiece just walked into the computer room, completely naked, with a waffle in her hand, which she aimed at me and said, “A gun! A gun! Psssht! Psssht! Psssht!”

August 11, 2010 at 10:17 am 1 comment

The Final Wet Wipe

I have watched nearly every season of The Bachelor/ette. I am not proud of this. So, last night, while I was watching Ali play with her urine-yellow extensions in the same way that she played with poor Chris’ heart, and My Masterpiece — who was upstairs dropping clean laundry over the landing — was shrieking because she’d taken too long of a nap, and wasn’t tired at 10:00pm — I thought about the Bachelor/ette for children.

I don’t want to fake-engagement-then-dramatic-break-up them off; I just wonder, what would life be like if moms and kids were on a reality show in which some children get sent home (to be taken care of by their dads?!?!? SNORT) and one final child gets The Final Wipe in the Most Dramatic Wet Wipe Ceremony Ever:

  • Group dates would take place at a park which has a secure fence and is not in proximity to a major street. Only because I once my took my then-only-two-children-as-opposed-to-my-current-four children to a park and they both ran straight for oncoming traffic. (I have no idea why California has fence-less parks so close to major roads.) In a fit of what can only be described as genius, I tripped one, and grabbed the other. I was 9 months pregnant with The Informant. My water broke that afternoon.

  • Two-on-one dates would be canceled. Really, what is less fun for a mom than trying to give her undivided attention to two children at once? And the part where she asks for alone time with one — I can only imagine what the other child would get into. On-camera, of course.
  • One-on-one dates would consist of trips to the grocery store or Target, or other errand-like activities. The losing children after these dates would be sent home with leashes.

  • Romantic overnight dates would be changed to nap dates.
  • Moms would never choose the key for the shared “fantasy” suite. Seriously, it’s not a fantasy when you’re sharing a bed with a two-year-old who likes to sleep perpendicular to you while scratching you with her claw-like little toenails all night, My Masterpiece.

At the end, the moms would take the children for the final evaluation: by their families/babysitters/friends. Then she would talk for forty-five minutes about this (endless) journey and the (umbilical cord) connection she has to each child and make her pick.

After the Final Wet Wipe would take place in a therapist’s office, with Chris Harrison acting as mediator.

August 3, 2010 at 12:40 pm 2 comments

Yes, the rumor is true.

I really did rub stool softener on my nipples and then pump breastmilk for my then-34 week preemie twins. Or put them to my actual stool-softener laced breast. Either way, they drank Col*ace.

And I might even win an award for it! Please vote for me!

July 30, 2010 at 5:45 pm 3 comments

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About Mommy Soup

Wife and homeschooling mom of five, including my Christmas Day homebirth baby. Not Catholic, Amish, or quiverfull; we just like to... you know!

Writing about my interests: natural pregnancy and birth; attachment parenting; cooking; baking; homeschooling; green living; human rights; child passenger safety; dog training, and life after weight-loss surgery.

In my free time I try to figure out how I can promote world peace while wasting time on Facebook.

NaNoWriMo 2010

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