Archive for December, 2010

Quick Christmas homebirth story

My Absolutely Amazing Homebirth of the Christmas Baby

The short version: I started having contractions around midnight on Cmas morning. I stayed in bed til I couldn’t rest anymore, then I got up and walked around.  Whenever I’d feel a contraction, I’d sway my hips like I was dancing.  I didn’t feel like I needed anyone so I didn’t wake up my husband or my mom (who was visiting) or call my midwife. I just walked around the house and swayed.

I was tired, but every time I tried to lie down the contractions would get really intense until I got back up and moved. Around 5am things got even more intense and I decided that at 6am I’d start making calls/waking people up.  I woke up my husband for a few last-minute housekeeping errands; by then the kids were up and eager to open presents.  My kids, my husband, and my mom opened Christmas presents – while I called my midwife and asked her to come over. After we hung up, things got extremely intense (I know I keep using that word, but I don’t have any other word to describe it!) and I called her back and asked her to talk me on her cell phone til she arrived at my house.

When she got here she examined me and said I was complete except for a small lip, and the baby was at +3. My bag of waters was still intact and I begged her to break them – which is ironic because I’m fairly anti-ROM! She suggested I get on hands-knees to make the lip go away. While on hands-knees, the contractions were really powerful and I could feel them all throughout my pelvis. It was the first time I’ve had pain in my back during a labor.

My water broke during a contraction – at which point the contractions actually got less intense! I sat on the toilet until I felt the urge to push. I found pushing to be very painful and at that point I didn’t think I could do it. I just didn’t think I could get the baby out. However, after what felt like forever on the toilet to me (my midwife said it was only a few minutes; in reality she was only at my house for an hour before the baby was born) my Christmas baby girl was born at 8AM. The placenta came out a few minutes later, and I hardly had any bleeding. She is 7lbs 11oz. She’s perfect and loves to nurse. After the birth I got into bed with her and we cuddled and nursed. It was a beautiful perfect birth – exactly what I wanted. I could not have imagined a better birth.

December 25, 2010 at 1:10 pm 4 comments

At 10PM on Christmas Eve…

…My Chemical Romance and I had a discussion about the differences in our cultural backgrounds and how I’m the Grinch. You see, I was raised Jewish. And I’m an only child. Ergo, I didn’t give a shit from whom the presents came (or where), I just wanted presents.

My Chemical Romance was raised… vaguely Christian-esque, with a large dose of Santa and two sisters.

I assumed my offspring felt the way I do about presents. I live with these kids every day, I know how they are about stuff.

I also wrongly assumed that I’d spent this holiday season nursing a newborn so I wouldn’t make it out to buy gifts. Joke’s on me! Thank you, ama*zon.com for having everything I needed (except for a whole-house humidifier). You came through, except when I get static shocks from opening the fridge.

Meanwhile, My Chemical Romance has this complicated scientific Christmas formula in his head that I only learned of tonight, but he wants to adapt it for our family — starting next year, since this Christmas is almost upon us and now it’s nearly 11pm and we have boycotted Wal*Mart for over three years now and Tar*get is closed, so hopefully this year the kids will simply enjoy their gifts and next year we’ll start the REAL tradition.

It took me a while to catch on, but now I totally get the plan and I think it’s great, and here’s how it works:

1. A certain amount of money is set aside for each kid, for gifts from Santa, and from mom and dad. Say $50/kid. So they will get at least one gift from Santa (which will not get wrapped) and one gift from us (wrapped). Or they might get a few small gifts from Santa (unwrapped) and a few small gifts from us (wrapped). Or some combination thereof, as long as the monetary value is equal to $50 (or whatever we decide).

2. We give each kid $5 for each sibling, to buy each other gifts. I’m sincerely hoping we can encourage them to pool their money for each other, or I’m going to end up with a bunch of tiny plastic dollar-store toys that will be broken by (next) New Year’s Eve.

3. My Chemical Romance and I have a set amount of money to buy each other one gift, one gift from Santa, and one gift from the kids, divided however we want.

Apparently this will add up to approximately three gifts per person, and $23525252352 spent on next year’s Christmas. Happy Holidays!

December 24, 2010 at 10:59 pm Leave a comment

And I thought I was crazy before

As much as I have always preached that a due date is NOT like an expiration date on a carton of milk, omgiamsodonebeingpregnantwtfbabywillyougetthefuckoutalready!!!!!!!!!!!! As of now, I’m 10 days past my EDD given to me by an OB; 6 days past the EDD given to me by a local crisis pregnancy center when I first found out I was pregnant and had no idea when I was due.

Either way, I’m a few days past sanity.

For a pregnancy that has been so physically easy, this wayyyyyyy past my due date thing is psychologically very taxing.

I really hate to think about my birth experience as anything other than flowers and rainbows and puppies, but at this point it seems like a means to an end. That will take place at home. While I’m surrounded by friends and My Chemical Romance — and even my mom! But still: means to an end, BABY!

Here’s my day:

1:00AM: Wake up to use bathroom. Note that the nightsweats are not, in fact, my water breaking. Check toilet for bloody show. None. Sigh. Go back to bed — if possible. If not, read some gossip online and eventually fall asleep.

4:00AM: Repeat.

4:30AM: My Chemical Romance’s alarm clock goes off (every 9 minutes until about 7am). Wake up and announce to him that I’m still pregnant. Cry. Ask for reassurance that I’m not going to be pregnant forever — and that if I am, he’ll still have time off work after the alleged baby is allegedly born.

8:00AM: Wake up to screaming from kids. My mom is here to wrangle them — arriving 5 days AFTER my due date, she was supposed to help me with the baby — and the luster has worn off for all of them. At least I don’t have to feed them breakfast. Thanks mom! Get out of bed. Note I’m still pregnant. Cry. Try to reassure myself that I won’t be pregnant forever. Shower. Moisture heavily — my house is DRY. Put on maternity clothes that I thought I’d be finished with weeks ago — or at least, if I was still wearing them, they would be postpartum clothes.

10:00AM: Drag kids somewhere. Discovery Place, the movies, library, errands. Pray that we’ll have to turn around and leave because I start feeling contractions… to no avail. Lunch.

1:00PM: Nap for The Informant, My Masterpiece (who naps in my bed with me), and me. Quiet time for Animal, Mineral, and Mom.

4:00PM: Make dinner/start thinking about where to go for dinner. Note that most of the day is over and apparently today isn’t the day I’m having the baby. Cry. Ignore phone calls, and don’t call anyone unless absolutely necessary, lest I have to start the conversation with, “I’m not in labor but…”

5:00PM: My Chemical Romance arrives home. Dinner. Post-dinner weepiness that I’m still pregnant. Negotiations with My Chemical Romance over who gets to put kids to bed. Check Facebook — although I’m not posting, because I have nothing to say except that I’m still pregnant and I’m tired of the comments about it.

7:00PM – 9:00PM: Eat. Watch TV. Knit scarf for Wii that should be done in a few years.

9:00PM: Get into bed with book. Note that I’m still pregnant. Cry.

Repeat.

December 21, 2010 at 9:31 pm Leave a comment

On the first day past my EDD, My Chemical Romance gave to me…

Dinner out with The Informant and My Masterpiece (while Animal and Mineral are at their very first sleepover!)

Also, a 12-hour night sleep, and banana pancakes that did NOT have the consistency of a rubber tire. I don’t know why, but My Chemical Romance’s pancakes are always really rubbery. Perhaps it’s the pregnancy hormones or some weird pancake craving that led me to announce to him, while still half-asleep, that I wanted pancakes from scratch but that his always taste like rubber tire. Luckily he was not offended. He’s seen me pregnant before, and that was probably the least-offensive thing I’ve ever said while past my due date. He asked, like the good scientist he is, was it the taste or was it the texture? I said texture. He said maybe he’s overmixing the batter. Perhaps pancakes are like brownies, which should always be hand-mixed, and never over stirred.

And, he took all four kids to the mall (!!!) where they waited an hour in line to see Santa. My Masterpiece was scared to death of Santa, so she didn’t get in the family picture. While at the mall, they purchased Christmas gifts for me. And they were gone long enough for me to watch 16 and Pregnant, Glee, and Oprah.

Also #2: he told me I’m not very complain-y, especially compared to the last two pregnancies. I said being down 100lbs probably helps; I’m not having any physical issues. Yes, I feel kind of like a whale, but so do most 40w1d pregnant women. My whale-ism isn’t anything new.

December 12, 2010 at 11:07 pm Leave a comment


About Mommy Soup

Wife and homeschooling mom of five, including my Christmas Day homebirth baby. Not Catholic, Amish, or quiverfull; we just like to... you know!

Writing about my interests: natural pregnancy and birth; attachment parenting; cooking; baking; homeschooling; green living; human rights; child passenger safety; dog training, and life after weight-loss surgery.

In my free time I try to figure out how I can promote world peace while wasting time on Facebook.

NaNoWriMo 2010

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