I wish I could joke, but the drugs aren’t good enough.

April 1, 2010 at 9:53 am 3 comments

By the way, I know I promised to live-blog while drinking the colonscopy sludge

but I must have done it wrong, because nothing really happened. (And I have had a colonscopy before, so I know what’s supposed to happen.)

So I had my surgery yesterday. And… it hurt. Bad. Worse than I had anticipated. 

I anticipated that this surgery would be like the two in-office procedures I’ve had on this, uh, region. Annoying, causing some discomfort, but ultimately more of a punchline than a painful experience. (Is there anything funnier than imagining me genuflecting with my ass-cheeks taped open while a preternaturally cheeful nurse injects lidocaine into very very delicate tissues?)

Sadly, I was totally wrong. Those were procedures. This was surgery. Minor, outpatient, but still surgery.

I woke up from anesthesia vomiting and peeing myself — awesome! — and in pain. So much pain. I got some stronger medicine, and threw up again on the drive back to my parent’s house.

When I got back there, I learned that my children had run my mom ragged, so I put them to bed. And I walked the dog. While my ass bled, and, uh, leaked. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

During the night, I realized that I needed more help, so I called the doctor for stronger painkillers, and I called My Chemical Romance to fly down here and drive us back home. I need to be home. I need my friends and my husband.

I hope that my next blog comes from home, and that I can sit without use of a pillow when I write it.

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Entry filed under: family, weight loss surgery. Tags: , , , .

I’ll see that snark — and raise you one. I officially take it very seriously

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. mitzirudderow  |  April 1, 2010 at 10:59 am

    This is the first time I have ever heard of someone having that much trouble. So sorry it was such a bad experience. I almost….notice I said, “almost” look forward to my next one because I slept soooooo good when I got home. Hope you are sitting better with each day that passes.

    Reply
  • 2. baj4life  |  April 1, 2010 at 11:59 am

    Ugh, that sounds absolutely awful. Let me know if you need anything when you get home.

    Reply
  • 3. Smellyann  |  April 1, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Hope the drive home isn’t excruciating! 😦

    Reply

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About Mommy Soup

Wife and homeschooling mom of five, including my Christmas Day homebirth baby. Not Catholic, Amish, or quiverfull; we just like to... you know!

Writing about my interests: natural pregnancy and birth; attachment parenting; cooking; baking; homeschooling; green living; human rights; child passenger safety; dog training, and life after weight-loss surgery.

In my free time I try to figure out how I can promote world peace while wasting time on Facebook.

NaNoWriMo 2010

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